


merry whatever

by noodletastic



Category: Naruto
Genre: Christmas prompts, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27867729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodletastic/pseuds/noodletastic
Summary: a collection of holiday-inspired ficlets
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	merry whatever

Iruka stared at the batter in his bowl. A bubble rose to the surface, popping ominously.

“Oh, fuck,” he mumbled. He picked up his spoon, giving it a tentative stir, then swiped a pinky through the mix. He popped it in his mouth hesitantly and immediately recoiled, sticking his tongue out with a muted _blegh_ of horror.

He glanced at the clock; it was nearly nine in the evening. This was his fourth trial run, and while this batter wasn’t alarmingly yellow or too salty or aggressively almond-flavored, it certainly wasn’t… _good_. And with only three hours left to midnight, he didn’t really have time to make a new mix.

Kakashi had asked for exactly two things for Christmas.

“You, in this,” he had said, presenting a magazine spread of a beautiful young woman with wide brown eyes and flawless skin. She was sprawled across snow-white sheets, the photo taken from above. She was wearing a pair of sparkly, sheer panties with a faint snowflake pattern. A tiny, pale blue bow was positioned in the center, matching the lace trim around the edges and the large bows on the thigh-high stockings with a matching snowflake pattern. The bra was in the same print, snowflakes carefully positioned to _almost_ hide her nipples. “Only the bottoms, of course,” Kakashi had added, leering across the kotatsu.

“Ah,” Iruka had answered. Then he took the magazine, contemplating the photo, before closing it, folding it, and swatting Kakashi sharply on the hand. “ _No._ ”

The other had been requested while they laid side-by-side in bed, panting and sweaty and satiated.

“A Christmas cake,” he had murmured, foot knocking lightly against Iruka’s. “The kind with strawberries.”

“That I can do,” Iruka had agreed, rolling to press his face into the familiar crook of Kakashi’s neck.

As Iruka slid the cakes into the oven, he chastised himself for being so quick to dismiss the lingerie.

\---

Kakashi returned ten minutes before midnight, calling a greeting from the genkan.

“Welcome home,” Iruka responded automatically, staring down at his cake in horror. The top layer was slowly sliding to the side. Iruka had managed to overwhip the cream, which looked a little too much like butter even after spending the last hour carefully applying it to his two very flat cakes. At least the strawberries perched on top looked nice; if Iruka could do nothing else, he could handle a knife.

Iruka only managed to drag his eyes away from the cake when Kakashi entered, his uniform covered in road dust and the skin visible above his mask pink from the cold. “Welcome home,” he repeated, smiling sadly.

Kakashi arched a brow, pausing half-way through the clasps of his vest. “This is a new look.”

“Wha- ah.” Iruka looked down at himself; his apron was covered in flour and clumps of cream. There were smears of dry batter on his forearms, and finger-prints on his pants from where he’d hastily wiped his hands. “Yeah,” he agreed.

Kakashi stepped across the kitchen, lifting a hand to Iruka’s cheek. He brushed his thumb across his cheek bone, and drew back a lump of cream. Before Iruka could stop him, he drew down his mask and popped his thumb into his mouth.

“Wait-”

Kakashi’s eyes widened, thumb still stuck in his mouth. He glanced towards the cake, then back at Iruka, frozen.

“It’s bad,” Iruka said immediately, hands fluttering in the air. “I know, it’s really bad, I was going to tell you- wait, let me get you some water-” He spun around, grabbing a glass.

There was a soft _pop_ as Kakashi withdrew his finger. “Oh, _God_ ,” he said.

Iruka turned with the water, offering it out sheepishly. Kakashi took it quickly. He drank half of it in two large gulps.

Before he could say anything, Iruka blurted, “I’m sorry. I tried, but the cake kept turning out oddly, and I ran out of cream, so I couldn’t make more, but I thought maybe when I put it on the cake-”

Kakashi lifted a hand, covering Iruka’s mouth lightly. Somehow, despite the near-poisoning, his eyes were curled into their typical crescents, the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. “You baked for me, sensei?”

Iruka took his hand, drawing it down to hold it between their bodies. “You asked for a Christmas cake, didn’t you?” He couldn’t stop his pout. “Did you think I just wouldn’t give you anything? I said no to the lingerie-”

“Iruka,” Kakashi interrupted, eyes sparkling with humor. “You can’t cook.”

Iruka tried to tug his hand away, but Kakashi tightened his fingers, holding onto him. “Well, you asked for a cake-!”

“I meant you could buy one.” Kakashi was full-on grinning, prying Iruka’s fingers apart to lace them together. “You can’t cook.”

“It’s not romantic to buy a Christmas gift!” Iruka snapped, leaning back.

“Yes, poisoning me is much more romantic.”

“I’ve changed my mind, I don’t feel bad at all-”

Kakashi stepped closer, slowly backing Iruka towards the counter. “I can’t decide if a cake from you or a cake from Sakura would be worse,” he mused.

Iruka balked, lower back knocking into the counter. “I’m a better cook than _Sakura._ ”

“By a very fine margine,” Kakashi agreed, pressing close to him. “So I suppose I would rather risk eating yours.”

“Please don’t eat that.” Iruka deflated, raising his hands to cradle Kakashi’s neck, brushing his thumb against the faint stubble on his jaw. “I’ll get you something else.”

“Don’t.” Kakashi leaned into his touch, smiling.

“No, Kakashi, this is-”

Kakashi cut him off, leaning down to give him a slow kiss. Iruka sighed into it, sliding his arms around his shoulders gratefully. They broke apart after a few moments, and Kakashi pressed their foreheads together gently.

“The best gift you could give me is never entering the kitchen again. I don’t mind paying for takeout.”

Iruka squawked and shoved him away. “Kakashi!”

But Kakashi was laughing, the entire front of his uniform covered in the imprint of Iruka’s messy apron, and Iruka couldn’t help joining him, leaning back against the counter and dissolving into helpless giggles when his hand sank right through the top of his pathetic cake.

**Author's Note:**

> will i do more than one of these? will they be better than this? will i get coal in my stocking? maybe!!
> 
> feel free to submit prompts on my [tumblr](https://noodletastic.tumblr.com)!!


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